Reading to Finish or Reading to Be Changed?

I love to read.  I love that my kids love to read.  This blog is really just me sharing what I read.  This is the second year of my effort to read my age in books every year.  Last year I made it, but this year is looking doubtful.  Lately I've noticed a bothersome tendency in my reading: I'm reading to get finished instead of reading to get changed.  (I was introduced to this idea by Jeremy Kingsley, with whom I went to college.  I didn't know Jeremy that well, but I've listened to several of his messages through the Columbia International University podcast.)  Now obviously everything I read isn't going to result in earth-shaking life transformation.  Sometimes I read just for fun.  But I usually read to learn and in learning to be changed.  Yet I have found myself reading to get done instead.

• I often look to see what percentage read number on my Kindle
• I delight in checking off the boxes on my Bible Reading Plan
• I often scan to see how many chapters I have left, even of a book I'm enjoying.
• Every time I add a book to my 2010 Books Read document I count to see how many I've read

I'm wondering why I do this because I'm a bit frustrated with myself!  At heart it probably comes from my sinful desire to depend on my works to satisfy God and justify myself before Him and people.  I want to check lists in order to feel like I have done my spiritual, intellectual and social duty.  Other than preach the gospel to myself, I'm wondering what I need to do.

• Do I need to slow down, meditate more and not worry about quantity?
• Do I need to regularly remind myself that Bible is about relationship, which cannot be "checked off"?
• Do I need to get rid of the plan and the list?
• Do I need to put a piece of tape over the percentage read number on my Kindle?

A friend of mine once told me, "Next year you will be the same person you are now except for the places you go, the people you meet and the books you read."  That's not the whole story, but there's some wisdom to that.  I'm praying that I'll not start putting people and places in check boxes and on lists too!

The Law of the Farm & My Heart

In the previous post I talked about the law of the farm, that we simply cannot "cram" when it comes to how we use our time.  A farmer would never survive if he procrastinated on sowing seed and then tried to "cram" a crop in August, hoping to reap a harvest in September.  I've been thinking about how this same principle as it applies to my heart, especially in relation to the Apostle Paul's words from Galatians 6:7-9:
"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.  The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
I wonder how often I try to "cram" the fruit of the Spirit after spending more time sowing to the flesh?  Do I think I'm pulling one over on God by doing this?  A pastor with whom I once served used to say, "A lot of Christians spend Monday through Saturday sowing to the flesh and then go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure."  Paul says sowing to the Spirit requires perseverance and faith that God will cause fruit to be born in my life.  I really want love, joy, peace, patience, etc. in my life and I pray that God will give me grace to apply the law of the farm to my heart

How College & Seminary Did Not Prepare Me For Life

My years at CIU and SEBTS were amazing times in my life.  I cannot imagine where I would be without the people and truths that I encountered during those years.  I was changed while I was there and prepared for what came after.  But there is a way of approaching any education that leaves us unprepared for life. In First Things First Stephen Covey talks about "The Law of the Farm":

"In agriculture, we can easily see and agree that natural laws and principles govern the work and determine the harvest. But in social and corporate cultures, we somehow discmiss natural processes, cheat the system, and still win the day. And there's a great deal of evidence that seems to support that belief."

Covey goes on to talk about "cramming" in school - goofing off during the semester then spending all night before the big test trying to cram a semester's worth of information into your head to spit back out on paper the next day. He goes on to talk about how this simply would not work on the farm. A farmer could never put off planting in the spring, waste time all summer, then rip up the soil and throw in some seeds in the fall and hope to get a bountiful harvest before winter.

 "Cramming does not work in a natural system, like a farm. In the short term, cramming may appear to work in a social system. You can go for the "quick fixes" and techniques with apparent success. But in the long run, the Law of the Farm governs in all arenas of life."

In college and seminary cramming wasn't my usual mode of operation.  Yes, I did some cramming and it wasn't too unusual for me walk into a quiz or exam with study notes still in hand!   But it was rare for me to be completely unprepared for a test.  Nonetheless, when I graduated from seminary, I felt a bit lost.  I was a pastor while I was in seminary, but for 7-8 years of my life someone had been telling me what to read, what to study, when to turn things in and when the test would be.  Suddenly, no one was doing that.  I had a sermon due every Sunday morning and I couldn't turn it in late and get a letter grade off!  But other than that, I had to figure out how to manage my time on my own.  I consider it providential that I was reading "First Things First" at about the time I got out of seminary.  I have not applied it to nearly to the degree I wish.  But I have often maintained or regained my equalibrium by returning to those principles: 

• Weekly connect to mission, roles and goals
• Check my system for projects and things to read or review
• Plan the week accordingly by putting in the 'big rocks' first
• Adjust in the moment as needed
• Weekly review.

I am in serving in a new place.  I am in the process of figuring out my roles here and what the 'big rocks' are.  I am trying to figure out what this will look like in my weekly and daily routine.  It hasn't been an easy process, but my hope is that by laying this groundwork now I will reap great rewards later.

Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus

I won't be giving a full review of D.A. Carson's latest book, "Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus". I am almost finished reading it and it is full of powerful truth.  Carson has obviously spent a lot of time pondering and savoring the cross and resurrection of Jesus.  On every page I've encountered truths that cause me stop and say "Thanks, God" or "I never looked at it that way before."  This book is well worth your time.  Buy it and read it and your heart will be glad you did.

Free Book*

Right on the front cover Pastor Brian Tome reveals his agenda for Free Book*: "I am fanatical about freedom.  And I'm fanatical about coming at you hard in this book."  In an effort to come at the reader hard, Tome spends the first couple of chapters making lots of extreme statements just to let the reader know how fanatical he really is.  Frankly, he got off on the wrong foot with me, coming across as rather proud of just how free he is.  I kept finding myself asking, "Did he really mean that?" or "Did he really need to say that?"  For instance, Tome likes beer.  I have no problem with that.  But that seems to be his favorite liberty to flaunt, so he brings it up on a number of occasions.  (The second most mentioned freedom is riding his Harley without a helmet.)  It's as if he has a particular group of people in mind whose skin he is trying to get under.  This group he calls the "Bible Thumpers" and most of the time they are an easily spotted straw man.  I'm not sure how many times he contrasts his freedom to the bondage of Bible Thumpers, but it's more than I could have counted on one hand.  The statement that bothered me the most was his claim that "we don't need another book about the cross.  But another book about freedom?  Yes."  I'm wondering how he thought he could write a book about freedom in Christ without the cross being a central theme.  (See Colossians 1:22 and Hebrews 2:15 for starters.)
   After the first couple of chapters Tome settles down and offers a few valuable chapters.  In the chapter titled "Evicting the Squatters", Tome uses the imagery of letting squatters make themselves at home in your backyard as an effective metaphor for how Christians allow sin to make itself at home in our lives.  The chapter "Blahs, Break, Blues and Blessing" was also quite insightful.  In it Tome uses the Iraelites' progression from slavery in Egypt to victory in the Promised Land to show how believers can progress through these four B's.  In "When Grace Meets Truth" Tome unpacks these twin attributes in the life of Jesus and shows the need for both in both abundance and balance in the Christian's life.
  There were times when I really wanted to make this book a five-star recommendation.  But there were simply too many one-star moments for me to be able to do this.  I say this as one who could stand to experience some of the freedom Pastor Tome writes about, not as one who has gone further down the road of liberty than he has.  I truly believe when he has walked down that road a little longer himself, Tome will be able to rewrite this book and be just as fanatical about freedom but a lot more wise in how he expresses it.

Changed Lives Through Preaching

Andy Stanley’s “Communicating For a Change” is one of the best books on preaching I’ve read.  I use his relational outline every time I preach.  In this book Stanley states his goal for every sermon:  “To teach people how to live a life that reflects the values, principles and truths of the Bible. I want people to do something different, not just think about it.”  The important thing is what people do with what they hear.  He states, “We need far less information, far more application, far less explanation and far more inspiration.”  If you’ve ever listened to Andy Stanley preach, he certainly knows how to be applicable!  I feel no need to correct Stanley on this one, but I would make an addition.
How I preach with this goal in mind comes back to how I believe life transformation happens.  Does it happen by being told to do something and how to do it in simple terms?  Does it happen by following application points or steps?  That would certainly be part of it.  However, taken too far this can ruin preaching and will eventually the listeners.  Given a steady diet of "application by steps and points" preaching (my words, not Stanley's), the hearers will begin to expect the preacher to just tell them exactly what they need to do and how to do it. And oftentimes he will oblige, and rightly so. But what if he doesn’t?  Are the listeners off the hook for application?  Has the preacher squandered the moment for life transformation?  But there is a greater deficiency I would like to point out.
James tells us that the person who hears God’s word and does not do what itself is involved in dangerous and foolish self-deception.  (James 1:23-25)  By all means, when I preach I want people to do something different as a result.  But I also want them to be different.   James also tells us that before we can rightly apply the word we must continually “look intently” into the God’s word.  To look intently is to fix your gaze with careful inspection.  Our hearts must be inclined in the direction of the word (Psalm 119:36).  I must love what I study.  (Psalm 119:59).  I must love the word I preach.  Those who listen must love the word I preach or be on their way to doing so.  Because what I love will have my attention, and what has my attention will change my life.  I will be transformed into the very image of that which has my attention.  That’s what 2 Corinthians 3:18 is all about.  The Holy Spirit changes us as we behold the glory of God.  When I preach, people should be able to see that the Bible is full of glorious truth and is far more amazing and wonderful than any movie they will ever see or any video game they will ever play or any of the other million things towards which their hearts are inclined.  Life transformation will not just happen in Nike fashion, by just doing it.  If that’s all I have in my preaching, I will be lending a hand in the creation of moralistic deists. Life transformation happens when I love the glorious truth and when my attention is captured by seeing in it the glorious God who wrote it.

Is This Where Procrastination Comes From?

Procrastination today creates urgency tomorrow.  And sometimes I like it.  In "First Things First", Covey (unbeknownst to him?) puts his finger on a principle right out of the Sermon on the Mount.  "When urgency is the dominant factor in our lives, importance isn't".  The Kingdom of God, wherever it may manifest itself, is the first thing.  'Important' doesn't do it justice.  Covey writes about the addiction to urgency that comes from allowing the urgent to crowd out the important or first things:

"Some of us get so used to the adrenaline rush of handling crises that we become dependent on it for a sense of excitement and energy.  How does urgency feel?  Stressful?  Pressured? Tense?  Exhausting?  Sure.  But let's be honest.  It's also sometimes exhilarating.  We feel useful.  We feel successful.  We feel validated.  And we get good at it."

So if the kingdom of God is the daily important, first thing, then procrastination just may be my attempt to put the kingdom of God off till tomorrow.  (Of course, that's assuming my daily priorities are a relflection of me seeking the kingdom first, but that's another post.)  Then I get the rush of of accomplishing something urgent
tomorrow that should have been important today.  I reduce the kingdom to an unimportant, last minute task rather than the first thing that makes everything else in life make sense.  Procrastination is the drive to the dealer's house today.  Urgency is the drug tomorrow.

The Clock and the Compass

In "First Things First", Stephen Covey points out a contrast that explains some of my trouble in figuring out if I had a "good day" at work.

"Our struggle to put first things first can be characterized by the contrast between  two powerful tools that direct us: the clock and the compass.  The clock represents our commitments, appointments, schedules, goals, activities - what we do with, and how we manage our time.  The compass represents our vision, values, principles, mission, conscience, direction - what we feel is important and how we lead our lives.  The struggle comes when we sense a gap between the clock and the compass - when what we do doesn't contribute to what is most important in our lives."

If my wife asks me when I come home from work, "Did you have a good day?", the clock and compass is probably in my mind when I answer her.  There are days when I get a lot of items checked off my task list, but at the end of the day I wonder if everything I checked really connected to my purposes as a pastor.  There are other days when the quantity of work doesn't seem to be much, but what does get accomplished connects with the core of my calling.  These are satisfying days.  When clock and compass connect, the end of the day brings a really good kind of tired.