A Grief Observed

I finished C.S. Lewis' "A Grief Observed" several days ago and I've been thinking about it quite a bit ever since. This book is a collection of notebook entries penned by Lewis after the death of his wife. In the introduction Madeleine L'engle writes, "I am grateful to Lewis for having the courage to yell, to doubt, to kick at God in angry violence. This is a part of grief which is not often encouraged." When I first encountered Lewis' yelling and kicking, I was not thankful. I was uncomfortable. I didn't want one of my heroes in the faith talking to and about God like this. I wanted him to grieve with sure and steady faith. My discomfort with grief and all that it brings with it was being revealed. As I finished the book I was grateful to have had my own faith poked and proded and my heart exposed.

I would offer one recommendation to anyone reading this book. Try to read it in one or two sittings. In doing so you will be able to better see the process of Lewis' grief. You will see that as the process of mourning unfolds there are still questions and doubts, but there are also honest admissions of immaturity and self-pity. You will see how Lewis looks back at earlier entries, written in deep darkness, and sees them more clearly as the sun was beginning to rise. His willingness to deal with his own questions and doubts is refreshing as he comes back to the same, solid truths that he held before and is able to approach them with eyes more widely opened by grief.